Absolutely Anything (For a Reasonable Fee)

Hedgefund Kitty
Benefactor to All His Employees
And Investors

I have always made each of my subsidiaries a pleasant and safe work environment. Only then can my record reported profits be increased each year. I hold my responsibility to my shareholders sacred. Profit is the only thing that truly really matters.

I find the extra value in acquisitions and trim out the inefficiencies that limit productivity and earnings. Bunny and Bear Enterprises is one of my exemplary companies that has limitless potential for your investment.

Your entire portfolio would do well under my management. Your personal account report will always show gains of 400% or higher every year. Hedgefund Kitty Holdings can immediately accept your funds by wire transfer today.

Some media sensationalists have accused HKH of unfairly taking advantage of its worker bunnies. That is untrue. I help my workers invest in their futures by directing their entire income into HKH carrot derivatives
without charging a service fee. It saves them taxes because their entire income is deducted from their salary. I cannot imagine anyone else would be so generous to their employees.

My No Conflicts of Interest Pledge

There will never be conflicts of interests when I manage your investments.
The only interests I protect are my own so you are freed of that
worry when you invest at Hegefund Kitty Holdings, NLC